What Should They Be Buried In? Choosing Clothes for a Burial or Cremation
The short answer: they can be buried or cremated in almost anything. Most families choose something the person actually wore and liked: a favorite suit or dress, the sweater everyone recognizes, a uniform, sometimes jeans and a flannel shirt. Bring the funeral home a complete outfit, including underwear and socks, usually within a day or two of making arrangements. Shoes are optional. Decide what happens to jewelry before you hand anything over, because what goes into a casket or a cremation chamber does not come back. If the person left wishes, follow them. If they did not, choose what the people who knew them best would recognize as them.
Families tend to find this one of the most personal decisions in the whole funeral, and one of the hardest to start. Someone has to open the wardrobe. This page is meant to make that a little easier.
If you are still working out the order of everything else, how to plan a funeral walks through it. If you are caring for the person at home and plan to dress them yourselves, how a home funeral works covers that part.
When the Funeral Home Needs the Clothes
Ask the funeral director when they need them. Typically:
- With a viewing or open casket: the clothes are needed before the viewing, so the staff have time to dress the person and make adjustments. Often a day or more ahead.
- With a closed casket or direct burial: there is usually more flexibility, but they still need them before the burial.
- With cremation: if there is no viewing, ask whether the person will be dressed or wrapped in a sheet. Some families bring clothes; many do not. Both are normal.
If you are not sure yet whether there will be a viewing, wake, viewing and visitation explains the difference, and the clothing question can wait until that is decided.
What to Bring
Put everything in one bag with the person's name on it, and include a short note listing what is inside and what you want back.
- A full outfit, top and bottom, or a dress. Clothes they wore often are usually a better choice than something bought new.
- Underwear, socks or tights. Funeral homes usually ask for undergarments. It is part of dressing someone with dignity, even if nobody will see them.
- Shoes, if you want. Many families skip shoes, especially when only the upper half of the casket is open. Some include slippers or the shoes the person lived in. Either is fine.
- Glasses, if the person always wore them. People often look unfamiliar without them.
- Their usual hairstyle and makeup. A recent photo helps the staff get these right. If they never wore makeup, say so. If they always wore a particular lipstick, bring it.
- Anything to go in the casket with them, such as a photograph, a letter, a rosary or a small keepsake. Say which items are to stay and which are to come back.
Anything you are unsure about, ask. Funeral directors answer these questions every day and none of them are odd.
Choosing What They Wear
There is no dress code. A few ways families decide:
What they would have chosen. If the person ever said "bury me in my fishing hat," that settles it. Check whether they left written wishes, a pre-arranged funeral plan, or a note with their will.
What people will recognize. At a viewing, the goal is for them to look like themselves. A grandmother who lived in cardigans may look strange in a formal gown. A man who wore a suit to church every week may look right in it.
What matches the service. A formal church funeral and a backyard celebration of life can call for different things, but it is the person's clothes, not the guests', that matter here. Their outfit does not have to match anyone else's.
Practical points the staff will raise:
- Long sleeves or a high neckline can cover bruising from IV lines, surgery or a long illness. If that matters to you, choose accordingly or ask the funeral home.
- Weight changes after illness are common. Clothes from a few years ago may no longer fit. Funeral homes can adjust a garment, often by opening it at the back, which nobody sees.
- A favorite item that is too worn can sometimes be included in the casket rather than worn: a folded jersey, a blanket, an apron.
Uniforms and Special Clothing
Many people are buried in a uniform that meant something to them: military dress, a nurse's or firefighter's uniform, a team jersey, religious vestments. If you want military honors at the funeral, military funeral honors explains how to request them. For a uniform with medals or insignia, ask a veteran's organization or the branch if you are unsure how they should be arranged.
Some faiths have their own practice. In traditional Jewish burial, the person is dressed in plain white linen or muslin shrouds (tachrichim), and many Muslim families wrap the person in plain white cloth (kafan) after washing. If your family follows one of these traditions, the funeral home, your clergy or the community's burial society will guide you, and you may not need to choose clothes at all.
For a Cremation
If the person will be dressed for cremation:
- Natural fabrics are often preferred, such as cotton, wool or silk. Some crematories ask families to avoid vinyl, rubber or large amounts of plastic. Ask what your crematory allows.
- Remove anything you want to keep. Jewelry, watches, glasses and keepsakes that go into the chamber will not come back in any recognizable form.
- Tell the funeral home about pacemakers and battery-powered devices. They are removed before cremation, because the batteries can explode at high temperature. What happens at a cremation explains the rest of the process.
Jewelry: Decide First
This is the decision families most often regret getting wrong, in both directions.
- If it is to be buried with them, tell the funeral home in writing. Wedding rings are the most common choice.
- If it is to come back, write that down too, and ask when and how it will be returned. Many families let the person wear a ring at the viewing and have it removed before the casket is closed.
- If the family disagrees, wait. Jewelry can be removed and kept, then decided on later; it cannot be retrieved from a buried casket or a cremation. Some families later turn a ring into a keepsake, or keep a lock of hair or a fingerprint; memorial jewelry covers the options.
When Nobody Agrees
It happens often: one sibling wants the suit, another wants the golf shirt. A few things help.
Ask who has the legal right to decide. Usually it is the person named in a funeral directive, then the spouse, then adult children together. Who decides funeral arrangements explains the order. In practice, most families do not need the law; they need a way to stop arguing.
Compromise in layers. The suit for the viewing, the golf shirt folded beside them. A favorite cap placed in the casket. A grandchild's drawing tucked in a pocket.
Let the person's own choices decide. What did they wear to the things they loved? The answer is often obvious once someone says it aloud.
If the disagreement is part of something larger, when siblings disagree about a funeral is about that.
Going Through the Wardrobe
Choosing clothes is often the first time anyone opens the person's closet after the death. It can hit harder than expected: the smell, the familiar shapes on the hangers. Some practical help:
- Do it with someone. A sibling, a friend, or the person's closest friend. Two people can make the choice faster and share the weight of it.
- Pick, then leave. You do not have to sort anything else today. What to do with a loved one's belongings is for later, when you are ready.
- Take a photo of the outfit before you hand it over. Families sometimes want to remember what they chose, and it can be useful for the obituary or a memorial page.
Quick Answers
Do you need to bring underwear for the deceased? Most funeral homes ask for underwear and socks or tights along with the outfit. It is part of dressing the person with dignity.
Are people buried with shoes on? Sometimes. Shoes are optional, and many families leave them out, especially for a half-open casket.
Can you buy new clothes for someone to be buried in? Yes, but clothes the person actually wore usually look more like them. If nothing fits after an illness, the funeral home can adjust a garment.
What do you dress someone in for cremation? Their own clothes, ideally natural fabrics, or a simple sheet. Remove jewelry and anything you want to keep.
Can they be buried in pajamas or casual clothes? Yes. There is no rule. Many families choose what the person was most comfortable in.
The outfit is one of the small choices that say who someone was. GetMemorial gives your family a place to keep the bigger story: photos, tributes and the details only you remember. Start an online memorial whenever you are ready.
