Caring for Them at Home: How a Home Funeral Works
The short answer: in most of the US, a family is allowed to care for the person who died at home, keep them there for a vigil of a day or a few days, and take them to burial or cremation themselves. The Funeral Consumers Alliance names nine states that require you to hire a funeral director for at least part of it: Connecticut, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Louisiana, Michigan, Nebraska, New Jersey and New York. Everywhere else you can do all of it, or only the parts you choose. What you cannot skip is the paperwork: a death certificate, signed by a doctor and filed within a few days, and in most places a permit before the body is moved for burial or cremation.
If you are still deciding between a funeral home and doing it yourselves, how to choose a funeral home covers the other side. This page is about the home version.
What a Home Funeral Actually Is
A home funeral is not one fixed thing. It usually means some mix of these:
- The body stays at home after the death, or is brought home from a hospital or care home
- The family washes and dresses the person themselves
- Friends and relatives visit over a day or two, the way people once did in a front room
- The family, not a funeral home, files the death certificate and gets the permits
- The family drives the body to the cemetery or crematory
You can do every part of that, or one part. A common version is a hybrid: the person stays at home for a vigil of a day or two, and a funeral home handles the paperwork, transport and cremation. Under the FTC's Funeral Rule, funeral homes have to give you an itemized price list and let you buy only the goods and services you want, so you are not forced into a package to get help with one step.
People choose this for different reasons. Some want more time with the person before they are taken away. Some want the people closest to them, not strangers, to be the ones who handle their body. Some come from a tradition where the family has always done this. For some it is about cost. All of those are good reasons, and so is deciding it is not for you.
Check Your State First
Before anything else, find out what your state requires. The Funeral Consumers Alliance (funerals.org) and the National Home Funeral Alliance (homefuneralalliance.org) both keep state-by-state pages.
The rules that vary most are:
- Whether a funeral director must be involved, and for which steps. In the nine states named above, that can mean filing the paperwork, moving the body, or being present at the burial or cremation.
- Who may file the death certificate. In most states the family can act as the "funeral director" for this purpose.
- How long a body may stay unrefrigerated or unburied, and whether cooling is required after a set time.
- What crematories ask for. Some states have a waiting period before cremation, and many crematories require a medical examiner's clearance first.
If anything is unclear, call your county or city vital records office. They handle this paperwork every day and can tell you exactly which form goes where.
The Paperwork, Step by Step
1. The death is pronounced. If the person was in hospice, the hospice nurse usually does this. If the death was unexpected, you call 911, and the medical examiner or coroner may need to be involved before the body can stay at home. What to do when someone dies covers those first hours.
2. The doctor signs the medical part of the death certificate. This is the cause of death section. It is usually the person's own doctor or the hospice doctor.
3. The family completes the rest and files it. This is the personal information: full name, date of birth, parents' names, Social Security number and so on. The certificate must be filed with the local registrar within the first few days. Many states now use an electronic system that funeral homes log into, so ask the registrar how a family files it in your area.
4. You receive a burial-transit permit. In most places this is issued once the death certificate is filed. You need it to move the body and to hand over at the cemetery or crematory.
5. Order certified copies. You will need several for banks, insurance and benefits. Who to notify when someone dies lists who usually asks for one.
Get all of this lined up before the death if you can. Hospice teams have often been through it with other families and can tell you who to call.
Keeping the Body Cool
This is the part people worry about most, and it is manageable.
Embalming is not routinely required in any state. Instead, the body is kept cool. The Funeral Consumers Alliance says a combination of open windows, dry ice, Techni-Ice packs and air conditioning can cool a body for up to three days.
A few practical points:
- Start cooling soon after the death, especially the torso, where the organs are.
- Dry ice is placed under the torso and wrapped in towels or paper bags so it does not touch the skin directly. Wear thick gloves when you handle it.
- Ventilate the room. Dry ice turns into carbon dioxide gas, which can build up in a closed space. Keep a window open or the door ajar, never seal dry ice in an airtight container, and do not let anyone sleep in a small closed room with it.
- Techni-Ice and similar reusable packs do not give off gas, but need to be swapped and refrozen more often.
- Keep the room as cold as is comfortable for visitors. Turn off heating and close curtains against the sun.
Your state may set its own limit on how long a body can stay at home without refrigeration, so check that as part of step one.
Washing, Dressing and the Vigil
Some families wash and dress the person together. It can be very simple: warm water, a soft cloth, their own clothes. There is no right way to do it. Some people talk to the person while they work, some play music, some are quiet. Children can be part of it if they want to be, and can also simply visit afterwards.
Then comes the time at home. Some families keep the door open for a day and let people come and go. Others keep it to close family. You might:
- Put out photos, letters and the person's favorite things
- Light candles (well away from the dry ice wrapping and bedding)
- Keep a book by the door for visitors to write in. Our guide on what to write in a funeral guest book is useful for anyone unsure
- Hold a short gathering on the last evening before the body leaves
The vigil can be whatever you need. A day is enough for many families.
Getting Them to the Cemetery or Crematory
In most states the family can transport the body. You need the burial-transit permit with you. The body should travel in a closed vehicle large enough for a casket or a body lying flat, which in practice means a van, SUV or station wagon with the seats folded down.
Call the cemetery or crematory ahead. Ask:
- What paperwork they need from you on arrival
- Whether they need a container (a simple casket, a cardboard box or a shroud on a board) and what kind
- What time to arrive, and whether family can be present
- Whether they need a medical examiner's clearance before cremation
If driving is the part you do not want to do, this is the easiest step to hand to a funeral home.
Is It Right for Your Family?
A home funeral takes time and people. It works best when:
- Two or three people are willing to share the work
- You have a room that can be kept cool for a day or two
- The death was expected, so the paperwork could be prepared
- Everyone close to the person is comfortable with it, or at least not opposed
It is harder when the death was sudden, when there is an autopsy, or when close relatives disagree. If the people with the legal right to decide do not agree, that has to be settled first; who decides funeral arrangements explains how.
There are also people who help with this as a job: home funeral guides or death doulas. They are not funeral directors and usually cannot file paperwork for you, but they can teach your family what to do and stay with you through it. The National Home Funeral Alliance keeps a directory.
Quick Answers
Is a home funeral legal? Yes, in every state families have custody of the body after death. Nine states require a funeral director for some steps: Connecticut, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Louisiana, Michigan, Nebraska, New Jersey and New York.
Do you have to embalm a body for a home funeral? No. Embalming is not routinely required in any state. The body is kept cool with dry ice, cold packs and air conditioning instead.
How long can a body stay at home? Usually up to about three days with good cooling. Your state may set its own limit, so check.
Can I file the death certificate myself? In most states, yes. A doctor signs the medical part, and the family completes the rest and files it with the local registrar.
Can I hire a funeral home for just one part? Yes. The FTC Funeral Rule lets you choose only the goods and services you want from an itemized price list.
The days at home often bring out the best stories: the ones people tell sitting by the bed late at night. GetMemorial gives your family a place to keep them, with the photos and messages from everyone who came. Start an online memorial when you are ready.
