Planning a Buddhist Funeral: What Happens and What the Family Decides
The short answer: call the temple or the monk, nun or minister your family knows, and call a funeral home. The temple will tell you what your tradition does; the funeral home handles the body and the permits. Most Buddhist funerals share a common shape: chanting by monks or a minister, an altar with a photograph, flowers, candles and incense, an incense offering by the family and guests, and in most families, cremation. Many traditions then hold memorials in the weeks after the death, often counted in sevens up to the 49th day. Buddhism is practised very differently by Theravada, Tibetan, Zen, Pure Land, Chinese and Vietnamese communities, so treat this as the common shape and let your teacher and your elders decide the details.
This page is for the family arranging the funeral. If you are going as a guest, what to wear to a funeral explains why many Buddhist families wear white or dark, plain clothes.
First, Which Tradition?
The first question is not what Buddhists do, but what your family's temple does. Some examples of how far it varies:
- Theravada families (often Sri Lankan, Thai, Burmese, Cambodian or Lao) may wash the body and dress it in white, hold a wake for several days, and invite monks to chant and receive offerings, with a monk returning for a sermon about a week later.
- Tibetan families may ask a teacher to guide prayers, and read texts over the 49 days after the death, a period understood as a transition before rebirth.
- Zen families may keep a vigil while priests chant, then hold the funeral, which ends with the cremation.
- Jodo Shinshu families (the Buddhist Churches of America) often have the cremation before the funeral, with a photograph and the urn at the service.
If the person practised but the rest of the family did not, look for their teacher or temple in their phone or emails. If no one knows, a nearby temple of the same tradition can usually help, or recommend someone who will.
The First Calls
The temple. Tell them who has died and when. Many temples will send a monk or minister to the bedside or the funeral home for a short service soon after the death. At Jodo Shinshu temples this is called makura-gyo, the bedside service. Ask what the temple needs from you, and whether there is a customary donation for the monks or minister.
A funeral home. Ask directly:
- Have you arranged Buddhist funerals before, from our tradition?
- Can the body stay undisturbed for some hours after death, if our tradition asks for it?
- Can we have incense and candles in your chapel?
- Which crematory do you use, and can family be present?
- Can monks or our minister lead the service at your chapel?
Some traditions prefer the body not to be moved or handled for a period after death. In a hospital that may not be possible for long. Tell the staff and the funeral home early what you hope for; many will do their best.
Embalming is generally not needed for a prompt cremation. Ask whether it is required by law or simply offered.
The Altar
Whether the service is at the temple, the funeral home or at home, there is usually an altar near the body or the urn:
- a photograph of the person
- a Buddha image, if the temple provides one
- flowers, candles, and an incense burner
- offerings of fruit, water or food, depending on the tradition
The funeral home can help set this up. Your temple will tell you what belongs on it.
The Service
The service is usually led by monks or a minister and often lasts an hour or so. A typical order, taken from one Jodo Shinshu temple's guide, gives a sense of the shape:
- a bell, then chanting of sutras
- the presentation of the Buddhist name, in some traditions
- incense offerings, starting with the family
- a personal history and, if the family wants, a eulogy
- a short talk by the minister
- words of thanks from the family
Incense. Family members usually offer incense first, then other guests. Your temple will show you how; most people bow, place a pinch of incense on the burner or light a stick, and bow again. Guests unsure what to do follow the person in front of them.
Who speaks. Many Buddhist services include a personal history or eulogy, especially in the US. How to write a eulogy can help whoever is giving it.
Donations. Guests in many Asian Buddhist communities give money to the family in an envelope (called koden in Japanese communities). Some temples supply sheets for recording these. Ask a relative or friend to receive and record the envelopes so the family can send thank-you notes.
Cremation or Burial
Cremation is the most common choice among Buddhists, and in many traditions it is the norm, but burial is also accepted. Ask the funeral home about a witnessed cremation if family or monks want to be present for final chanting; what happens at a cremation describes what you will see. Some Japanese-American families ask for a "traditional Japanese-style cremation," which leaves some bone fragments intact so the family can place them in the urn.
The ashes may be kept at the temple, in a columbarium, buried in a family plot, or scattered. What to do with ashes covers the rules for each.
The Weeks After
In many traditions the family holds memorial services after the funeral, often every seventh day until the 49th day, with chanting, offerings and sometimes a meal for monks and guests. The 49th day often marks the end of the most intense mourning. Some families hold a 100th-day service; many hold yearly memorials on the anniversary.
Practices differ: a Theravada family might hold a merit-making ceremony with offerings to the monks; a Japanese-American temple will contact the family about the first Obon after the death (hatsubon). Ask your temple which days to mark.
Merit-making, giving to the temple or to a cause in the person's name, is common. If you list a charity in the obituary, what to write in a memorial donation card helps those who give.
Practical point: seven weekly memorials is more than most bereavement policies cover. If you work, tell your employer early which days you need. First death anniversary ideas has gentle ways to mark the year alongside the rites.
Common Questions
Do we need a monk or minister? Not strictly, but most families want one. If your family has no temple, a nearby temple of the same tradition can usually recommend someone.
Can a Buddhist funeral happen in a funeral home? Yes. Many do. Ask whether candles and incense are allowed in the chapel.
What if relatives belong to different traditions or religions? Many families hold a Buddhist service alongside a short secular or other religious one. Who decides funeral arrangements explains who has the final say if the family disagrees.
Is organ donation allowed? Most Buddhist traditions permit it. Ask your teacher if your tradition prefers the body to remain undisturbed. Organ donation and the family explains the timing.
The chanting carries someone through. The stories keep them close. GetMemorial gives your family a permanent place for photos, stories and tributes that relatives anywhere can visit, through the 49 days and after. Start an online memorial whenever you are ready.
